The 10 Cow Family

Usually I write about Gavin, after all this is my tribute to him in hopes he will enjoy reading it later in life. But today I write about God, me, and my family. It has been a momentous day. One worth writing about and one worth reading. Don't be scared by the length of it, it's worth it!

Gavin has been sick a lot lately and my mind has been less than happy most days. But today I attended Bible study and there was a speaker who told us the story of the 10 cow wife. If you haven't heard it, it goes like this:

"Once, there was a man with two daughters who lived out in the country by a small village. The man was barely able to provide for his family as a farmer, but he always had the aspiration that some day he would be able to be a rich man. Now the oldest daughter was by far the fairer of the two. As such, she was the apple of her father’s eye and enjoyed high status in the family. On occasions, her father would send her into the village on errands. As she walked down the dirt streets, men would stop their work and gaze at her, memorized by her charm and beauty. And they would daydream, as all young men do, that one-day they would be able to ask for her hand in marriage.But with a heavy sigh, they would return to their chores, realizing that it was only a dream. For you see, her dowry was worth ten cows and none of them had a single cow to their name.

The youngest daughter was not as pretty as her older sister was and she lived constantly in her sister’s shadow. To her were assigned the menial tasks of feeding and caring for the farm animals, the cooking and cleaning of the house. The sun had left tracks on her weathered face and in her hands and feet she wore the reminders of hard, manual labor. Even though her dowry was worth only 2 cows, she realized that no man in the village would pay her any attention until her older sister married. She was not showered with affection from her father for she was only a stepdaughter.

One day, a stranger appeared in the quiet village. He was a man of means for he stayed at the best inn and every night he held lavished parties as he entertained his friends. But no one knew who he was for he chose not to reveal his name and the villagers simply referred to him as “the rich man”. As the days slowly passed in the sleepy village, he let it be known that he was seeking a woman to marry. He sent messengers to spread the news throughout the countryside that he was throwing a feast for all the people. He invited everyone to come, rich or poor, and he announced that he would be selecting a woman to be his bride that night. Upon hearing the news, the father of the oldest daughter was filled with joy. Here, at last, was the opportunity for which he had been waiting. Here was the means by which he could increase his wealth and thereby attained some status in the village. On the night of the feast, the father was present with his oldest daughter. Never had she looked as beautiful as she did that night. At long last, it was the father’s turn to present his daughter before the rich man. “Have you ever seen such a fair woman as this one”, he exclaimed with joy. “Why, she is the envy of every woman in this village. Just look at her hands, her feet, and her face. She is worth of a king’s ransom.” “Yes, you are right in what you say”, exclaimed the rich man as he slowly looked her over. Finally, his eyes rested on hers with a gaze that seemed to penetrate into her very soul. With a wave of his hand, he dismissed her, turned to the father and said, “You have another daughter. Bring her to me.” “But my friend,” exclaimed the father with disappointment in his voice, “surely you are joking. I have brought before you the fairest woman in the land. And her dowry is worth only ten cows.” But try as he would, he could not persuade the rich man to change his mind. Sadly he walked back to his farm, realizing that his opportunity to reach a level of high status in the village had slipped away. In a short time he returned with the youngest daughter. With her head hanging low, she stood before the rich man. She was filled with such shame over her common appearance that she dared not look into his face. The rich man arose from his chair and slowly walked towards her. Standing before her, he took her hands in his. With the tenderness of a mother caressing her newborn baby, he caressed her callous hands. He kneeled before her and caressed her mud covered feet.&nbsp Upon rising to his feet, he took her face in his two hands and gazed into her eyes. “How much for your daughter?” he asked the father. “My friend, she is worth only two cows,” exclaimed the father. “I will give you ten cows,” replied the rich man. The father was filled with joy, the oldest daughter with grief and the youngest daughter didn’t know what to think.

With the skill of a jeweler polishing a rough stone, the rich man worked to develop the character of his new bride. With patience, love, and understanding, he slowly peeled back the layers of low self-esteem and doubt from the young girl. Sensing the great love and admiration from her husband, the bride responded in like manner towards her benevolent benefactor. Over time, she opened up to reveal the true character that the rich man had seen in her eyes. It was like the opening of a rose bud to reveal all the splendor and glory of a beautiful, red rose; like the beauty of the first spring flower awakening after a long winter’s nap; like moonbeams kissing the sea on a sultry, tropic summer night; like the intoxication of an ocean sunset."


I heard a version of this story from our guest speaker today and it touched my soul. I am worth 10 cows and so is my family. Though I may at times feel like I am not worthy or that I am of little value, I know I am. And I want my family to feel that too. Gavin should grow to know his value, that he is worthy of Gods love and ours and I hope I can do Him justice. God decided today I needed to be at Bible Study, that I needed to know my worth. In addition, he also brought me flowers. Yes, I piled my plate with food after the speaker and underneath was a sticker. With that sticker I was rewarded a begonia. Though this sticker was placed on my plate by a bible study member and was purchased by one, however, I knew today that God sent me these flowers to show me my worth. He wanted me to know He's thinking of me, even when I feel sad and unworthy of His love. What a gift!

In the past few Bible Studies I was asking, "how will I know when He speaks to me, if it's just my conscious or really him?" And today I know it was him!

It gets better. After I got the flowers from God. It was time for Gavin's nap. Sometimes he takes one sometimes he doesn't. Today he napped. And as he did, I sat in the radiating sunlight in my quaint back yard and I did some yoga while listening to music on my Ipod. The first song He presented to me, and I say this because each song literally had a message as if He was singing it to me Himself, was the Stand by Rascall Flatts. Here are the lyrics:

You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless
Like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright, you'll be alright

Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand


Life's like a novel
With the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon
With only one way down
Take what you're given before its gone
Start holding on, keep holding on

Everytime you get up
And get back in the race
One more small piece of you
Starts to fall into place
 
This goes on and on, it was so hard to put my Ipod down to write this and I knew I should. Here are the next songs and lyrics that played in a shuffle on my Ipod. God played me his 2011 version of a mixed tape and I feel loved!


"Be Here To Love Me" by Norah Jones

Your eyes seek conclusion in all this confusion of mine
Though you and I both know it's only the warm glow of wine
That's got you to feeling this way, but I don't care,
I want you to stay
and hold me and tell me you'll be here to love me today

Children are dancin', the gamblers are chancin' their all
The window's accusing the door of abusing the wall
But who cares what the night watchmen say
The stage has been set for the play
Hold me and tell me you'll be here to love me today

The moon's come and gone but a few stars hang on on to the sky
The wind's runnin' free but it ain't up to me ask why
The poets are demanding their pay
They've left me with nothin' to say
'cept hold me and tell me you'll be here to love me today
Just hold me and tell me that you'll be here to love me today

Then,

"Feels Like Today" Rascal Flatts

I woke up this morning
With this feeling inside me that I can't explain
Like a weight that I've carried
Been carried away, away
But I know something is coming
I don't know what it is
But I know it's amazing, you save me
My time is coming
And I'll find my way out of this longest drought

It feels like today
I know it feels like today I'm sure
It's the one thing that's missin'
The one thing I'm wishin'
The last sacred blessin'
It feels like today
Feels like today

You treat life like a picture
But its not a moment frozen in time
It's not gonna wait
Til you make up your mind, at all

So while this storm is breaking
While there's light at the end of the tunnel
Keep running towards it
Releasing the pressure, that's my heartache
Soon this dam will break

Feels like, feels like your life changes
Feels like feels like your life changes

It's the one thing that's missin'
The one thing you're wishin'
The last sacred blessin'
Feels like today

"Make This Day" by Zac Brown Band

I passed out last night and I never made it home.
Wound up on a bus to San Antone.
My head hurts bad and I ain't wearing shoes.
Going to find my wallet and my way home to you.

We're gonna make this day.
A little better than the last.
It's amazing how slow days like this can go.
Find a way to wash away.
Any regret you have don't let this moment pass.
Live inside this day.

I got cuffs on my hands.
Chains on my feet.
Got locked up for the second time this week.
And I know I make you cry but girl my love is true.
Going to find my wallet and my way back home to you.

Now I'm back on the street.
Thumb in the air.
Don't know how the hell that I got here.
But I'm gonna hitch that ride.
If it's the last thing I do.
Gonna find that wallet and bring it home to you.

We're gonna make this day.
A little better than the last.
Know don't you let this life come whoop your...
Find a way to wash away.
And regret you have.

"Stay with Me" by Colbie Callait

Moonlight
And I'll love in the day, always

I love the time we spend
Like a watch from an old friend
I will help you keep your smile
Promise me you'll stay awhile
I will come to you in need
And I'll help you when I can, when I can

Stay with me
Promise me you're never gonna leave
Stay with me
Let's try to be the best that we can be
And take our time

We always joke together
Laugh 'til we're rolling on the floor
I like the way you dance around
When you're running for the door
I will come to visit you even
When we're old and gray, always

I love the way you make me feel
When you're asleep, I'll take the wheel
Make sure to call when you get home
When you're driving on the road
I will come to you in need
And I'll help you when I can, when I can

I will come to you in need
And I'll love you when I can
I'll love you when I can
I'll come to you in need
And I'll love you when I can
I'll love you when I can, always


"Good Day" Jewel

I say to myself
Self, why are you awake again? It's one a.m.
Standing with the fridge wide open, staring
Such a sight, florescent light
The stars are bright
Might make a wish, if I believed in that shit but
As it is, I might watch TV
Cause it's nice to see people more messed up than me
I say to myself, as I smile at the wall, just let myself fall

It's gonna be all right, no matter what they say
It's gonna be a good day, just wait and see
It's gonna be alright, cause I'm alright with me
It's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gotta be

I shiver, shut the door
Can't think standing here no more
I'm alone, my mind's racing, heart breaking
Can you be everything I need you to be?
Can you protect me like a daughter?
Can you love me like a father?
Can you drink me like water?
Say I'm like the desert, Just Way Hotter.

The point of it all
Is that if I should fall
Still you're name I'll call

As long as we laugh out loud
Laugh like we're mad
Cause this crazy, mixed up beauty is all that we have
Because what's love but an itch we can't scratch, a joke we can't catch
God, but still we laugh

Get back in bed, turn off the TV
You say "It'll be alright baby, just wait and see."

It's gonna be all right, it's gonna be okay
It's gonna be all right, just wait and see
Its gonna be all right, no matter what they say
Its gonna be a good day, just wait, just see
It's gonna be okay, cause I'm okay with me
It's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be okay...
Uh oh, I'm awake again
It's one A.M.
Staring
Such a sight
Well, at least the stars are bright

"Breakin at the Cracks" Colbie Callait

Think you took my heart away when you said you're leaving
Cause' right now I am hurting all over again
And I never thought that I'd be in these places on this day
And now I don't know how much more that I can take

I'm breaking at the cracks
And everything goes black
It's another heart attack
And I can't handle that
Woo~ Love I need you back

I know that I'll get through this
The feeling is stronger somehow
I got my feet back on the ground
And I'm turning around
And I'll be everything you always said that I could be
If only you'll be waiting right here for me patiently

Oh whenever would I take you back,
My heart was filled with love
And I wipe these tears and I will laugh
If only I could make it last

Zac Brown Band "Let it Go"

Spent the night with a friend of mine and a handle of good whiskey
We picked guitars and talked about how the glory days we missed 'em
And it didn't take too long to find the truth inside that bottle
Cast a-sea so long ago was a message from my father.

You keep your heart above your head and you eyes wide open
So this world can't find a way to leave you cold
And know you're not the only ship out on the ocean
Save your strength for things that you can change
Forgive the ones you can't
You gotta let 'em go

Looking back now on my life I can't say I regret it
And all the places that I ended up not the way Ma woulda had it
But you only get once chance at life to leave your mark upon it
And when a pony he comes riding by you better set your sweet ass on it

Like a sweet sunset in Georgia let it go
And like the fear that grabs ahold ya let it go
Let it go
Let it go


Randy Travis " My love is Deeper"

Well i've heard those city singers
Singin about how can love
Deeper than the oceans
Higher than the stars above
Well I come from the country
And I know I aint seen it all
But i heard that ocean salty
And the stars they sometimes fall
And that would not do justice
To the way i feel for you
So I had to sing a song
about all the things i knew


My love is deeper than the holler
Stronger than the river
Higher than the pine trees
Growin tall upon the hill
My love is purer than the snowflakes
That fall in late december
And honest as a robin
On a spring time window sill
And longer than the song of a whipperwill

From the backroads to the broadway shows
With a million miles between us
Theres atleast a million lovesongs
That people love to sing
And Everyones the same
And this is just another way of sayin the same thing




This is where I had to stop and share this incredible story with you.  If you don't believe in God, I understand. It's hard to have faith in what you can't see. And on a hard day, it's hard for me to believe He's listening, that He's answering my prayers even though they may not be the answers I want or they may not come until a later time. Today He was answering me in many ways, maybe he does this everyday, but today I chose to listen. Thank you for today. May you all know you are worth 10 cows and more!