Today is 42

 Today is my 42nd year.  I woke up and your dad massaged my head and neck, a rare treat, as he has never been a morning person. Then I did my morning travel up the 19 steps to your room and crawl into bed to rouse you from sleep with song and massage.  You are always lying on your belly with your blanket wrapped around your neck and you say it's because a warm neck makes for a warm head. You are such a goof.  I tell you because you don't remember it's my birthday and "I was born today to born you" and give you a kiss under your ear, my favorite spot to give you kisses.  You are all grown up but you still let me do this in the morning when you aren't fully awake.  

The house is now quiet and I have had my morning coffee, meditation and prayer and now I sit looking out my window at the gifts God has given me, thank Him for his generosity, and contemplate what I have done and learned in 42 years.  So many memories, so many friends and family and acquaintances who have taught me great lessons and given me such joy. I have seen a multitude of places in our world and I have never been more content to not go anywhere.  I have never been more content to stare out the same windows for the rest of my days.  I hope you find your place someday that feels like home.  It's such a relief after living a nomad life for 2 decades.  

My phone keeps going off with all the birthday wishes and it's nice to know that some people who's paths I've crossed have remembered or seen the Facebook reminder.  As I review each one I think of the memories of those people and how we have blessed each other throughout our journey's here in this life.  

I've worked hard, I've played hard, I have done things I didn't want to do, I've been vulnerable, I've messed up big time, I've dusted off and got back up and tried again.  I've prayed for forgiveness, I've struggled, I've found humor in the craziest of places, and I've found deep lessons in the trying times.  

I've been working on being a better me since I learned I needed to be better and it will be a life's work in process, but I am certain I am exactly where I'm supposed to be and serving a higher purpose and that fills me with exuberance! I am elated with joy!