He's 5!

Hard to believe five years ago today, a few minutes ago exactly (6:39PM), I birthed a 6 lb 14 oz 19 3/4 inch little blue-eyed boy. Five years really goes by in the blink of an eye. Today that same little boy is now holding still at 35lbs and 42 1/2 in.  He keeps getting taller and doesn't gain an ounce. I'm pretty proud of the boy he's becoming, and I cherish every day I have with him.

Last night we celebrated by going out to dinner at an Italian restaurant where his vibrant and friendly personality lead him to playing tanks at the bar with a cook. This boy who used to wake us over the monitor with coos and baby talk woke us up today to tell us it was his birthday and promptly left us to sleep, while he goes to play video games. Sunday being his allotted day to do so.  

He opens gifts, expecting more, when he used to just be content with the box or even wrapping paper.  We went to church and he falls asleep on my shoulder, one thing he rarely does these days, but it reminds me that this is what he used to do and I smile. 

We play frisbee outside and he throws it so well and he catches it more often than I do and I think how we used to just roll a ball across the floor to each other for afternoon fun. We ended with a homemade baked chicken recipe from Aunt Marjean back home and his not-so-favorite beets, that he eats anyways, because I tell him that they are good for him. He eats on his own with a fork and a spoon, and I recall feeding him pureed vegetables across a highchair smeared with mess and even more mess on the floor. 

Before bed, he listens to a bible story he's heard many times and he listens while I pray for him and the coming year and kiss him goodnight. No more rocking, no more singing, no more nursing. In a way I feel free, proud that he's grown up so much. Independent. 

In another way I feel mourning, loss of that baby that used to need me. I know he still needs me and will for some time. He needs me to guide him through the next stage of life, and it won't be easy, none of it is, but I'm ready for the challenge.

Happy birthday Gavin.