Crushes

Another one of my writer friends wrote a blog today about the fleeting love of childhood crushes. This got me thinking about something Gavin said yesterday and about my own childhood crushes.

Gavin: Mom, Makayla lets me hold her hand and scratch her back anytime I want.
Me: Oh yeah? And your teachers don't care you are holding her hand and scratching her back?
Gavin: Nope. Nobody cares.
He says this with a smile. These days I don't know if anything he says is true. He's quite a storyteller. Just before he told me he ran in front of a car this weekend and rolled over the hood of it to catch a ball in flight. He waits to get a rise out of me and then says, "I was just kidding mom. The car was parked. I went around it." Anyways, back to childhood crushes...

I don't remember ever holding anyones hand in second grade. I remember the boys that were cute from that time period. I'm friends with one of them on Facebook. He's handsome still, just a little heavier, and he has a beautiful wife and two beautiful children.

I do remember crushes I had later on in middle school. One was a blond hair and blue eyed boy with braces. He talked softly and was very shy, but for whatever reason I was obsessed with him.  I don't ever think he liked me back as much as I liked him. Today he is a struggling musician in Nashville who has played with people like Amos Lee. He is much more handsome today especially with a guitar in his hand and hair that falls over his eyes as he whispers his own written lyrics into the mike, all of the teenage acne erased from his skin.  My second crush was a boy that had the sweetest smile and dimples that seemed to sink back into his gums.  His brown eyes sparkled and between the eyes and vast dimples he could make my knees buckle and heart melt. Any attention he gave me made me feel as if I were floating, light as a feather, in love. Now he's overweight and a semi truck driver with at least one illegitimate child. Thank goodness a crush is fleeting. Where would we be if we ended up with our first crushes?

It's important to experience these feelings. To feel intense emotions and indescribable affections as you grow and change. Crushes or new relationships make us feel giddy with excitement. Our bodies flood with adrenaline and euphoria at the slightest touch or sight of him or her. One day though, the right crush, becomes something deeper. A love. At first it's adrenaline and euphoria which eventually gives way to trust, familiarity, and of comfort; like putting on your favorite jeans or sitting with a good book in your favorite chair. Like home. We may crave the feelings of a new love, a first kiss. But an old love is like home, safe and right.