The Importance of Reflections

A week before my 41st birthday I broke my first bones, smashed the tips of my right hand middle and ring fingers stupidly between the boat and the dock.  I was pretty angry at myself for not being more aware, quicker to react, and just for knowing better, but not doing better. But in my business as a yoga therapist I am always teaching others how to forgive, move on, and how to see the positive side of a shitty situation. So I'd like to use this lesson in my life to teach you a thing or two, you know, so that I didn't just break my fingers for nothing.

 

After all what are accidents for if we can't learn a few lessons from them?

I've learned patience. One thing that I have had to do for myself is really express patience with the medical care I received. Patience with waiting in pain and having to hold an ice pack to my finger for five hours. Patience with myself in trying to do the simplest of tasks without the use of my dominant hand. Patience with moving through the feelings of anger, pain, struggle, asking for help, and the long process of healing.

 

I have learned that I can use my left hand for quite a few tasks to include driving, brushing my teeth, putting on my bra and many other things that I didn't think my left hand was capable doing. Who knows, after this experience, I may be slightly more ambidextrous or at least be able to use my left hand more frequently. And the double bonus benefit to using your left hand when you're right handed is that you're using the opposite side of your brain! Maybe this whole incident will create new neural patterns and I'll be smarter for it!

 

I've learned to slow down, to multitask less, to take my time doing certain activities. Maybe God's intention was to get me to pause and reflect.

I’ve learned how to ask for help and surround myself with those who want to be helpful without being asked. And I have a deep appreciation for those people who ask if you need help. A deep appreciation for those who are thoughtful for others during trying times. Even if you don't want to accept their help, it’s nice to know there are still lovely people in this world.

 

I've also learned that health care isn't really care. Care is a very improper term. I felt more like I was in a triage factory. Just a cow moving though the line. And Urgent Care is most certainly not urgent in any sense of the word in fact, it's an extreme oxymoron.

 

I've learned that trauma is trauma, no matter how big or small the trauma, trauma sticks with you. The images of an accident never leave us. The images of whatever traumatic experience you have endured will pop into your mind at moments when you least expect it, even long after the trauma has occurred.

 

I've learned that you grieve. And you go through the stages of grieving with a trauma to a part of your body, and I deeply understand my clients who have suffered this even more so now.

 

I've learned gratitude. It could have been so much worse. I am so grateful I didn't need surgery, that it wasn't my knuckles or my hand or all of my fingers. (As I type this with a finger thumb peck and my left hand.) I am grateful I had your dad there to think quick on his feet and get my ring off, get it bandaged, and put on ice. I am grateful Grandma Kay was visiting and was able to re-bandage me, keep me calm, and take care of the household duties. I am grateful for the lessons.

 

And two of the most important lessons that I've learned: empathy and forgiveness.

 

I have so much more empathy for those of my clients that have had a surgery or injury that has impaired certain parts of their body. Parts that are no longer usable, or in a great deal of pain, whether temporary or permanent.

 

Forgiveness, I've learned that forgiving myself is harder than forgiving anyone else. But I've also been reminded that we are worthy of forgiveness. I struggled with the fact that the accident happened at all, that I know better than to put my hands where they don’t belong. That I can't believe I did something so stupid.

 

Despite telling others that we must forgive ourselves, I find it extremely difficult to forgive myself. This was the hardest lesson to learn, but I'm learning every day.

 

I'm learning that every experience in your life, if you're open to it has the opportunity to provide you with a multitude of lessons. You just have to be open to receive them and open to reflect. As one of my teachers Eleanor Criswell Hanna says, " When life deals us a blow, we may choose whether we will go down with it or grow with it...one remains conscious and makes choices so as to minimize the losses and maximize the gains. You can feel the impact of the experience on the development of your inner being or soul."  

 

I hope when something tragic happens to you, when an accident happens that you take time to reflect on what the Universe is trying to tell you.  For what is our suffering for, if not to teach us.