Fourteen

 A breath and then... you are 14. Seems like only yesterday I held your tiny helpless body in my arms.  Some days I wish you were that little again, just for a minute, to remind me what it felt like --a fresh moment in my mind, not a distant faded memory. 

You are  5'4" tall and gangly, weighing 97 lbs all your squishy parts now stretched out to fill the space. You have a healthy attitude with just the right amount of sass and kindness (most days). You still reach out to hug me, touch my hand, ask me to snuggle. Your love language is physical touch and since you became aware of it, you like to remind us when we haven't reached out to touch you.  

You like basketball and girls, one you'll admit and one you won't. When I ask you why you don't have a girlfriend, you say what's the point? We will be leaving. Makes me sad to hear that, but happy to know that this phase of moving every two years is almost over and you can establish true belonging somewhere.  

You still obsess over electronics and beg for a phone, stating you are the ONLY person on the planet without one.  To be honest, you might very well be.  If I could, I'd protect you from it forever. But for now you use an old phone and Hangouts to secretly text your friends.  You claim these friends will be friends for life and you wish you could stay here for forever.  Only the grown ups know, that most likely friendships of this age are fleeting. Very few will make the effort to retain lifelong connection.  It sure is nice to have this feeling though, that we belong somewhere and that the goodness we feel will never end. 

You are kicking ass in robotics. You coded the "autonomous" and it picks up the goal and throws it into your basket. You're a young team of first year robotics and you have finally in your last few matches figured out how to be unbeatable.  You are passionate about winning and doing your absolute best and you showed incredible teamwork and sportsmanship. It's so fun to watch that.  Tomorrow you head to Auburn for State Robotics Tournament and if you win or place for Skills (your autonomous) you will go to Worlds in Dallas in May and miss school for a whole week. You are the #2 Middle School team in the state for skills currently.

You love God and Jesus and you cry every time you go to confession. I'm glad that the sacrament brings you peace. Maybe it always will.  

You are almost a Star Scout at Boy Scouts. You like the independence you have when you are at summer camp and camp outs. 

You play with the younger neighbor kids and love teaching them new tricks.  You are patient and kind and help others to be brave and try new things.

You have your life planned out, in your head, so you say, but you can't express it into words yet.  I often wonder what the inside of your brain looks like, so many things thought but left unsaid. I wonder what your life will look like too, every day. 

Your room is almost always a disaster and you leave the cap off your toothpaste.  And I still have to remind you to use soap and wash your face and floss, everyday. When I ask you to do your chores you tell me without hesitation that you did them, but you didn't.  Even though you've had these same chores for years, I still have to remind you to do these things, everyday.  I hope one day you grow out of these things. 

We will celebrate this week with cake and at your request lasagna, State Robotics tournament, a beach trip with your friend Duncan in Pensacola, and hopefully finding out you made it to Worlds and on to the interview stage of getting into ASCTE! You have a lot happening in your life now and it's exciting and nerve wracking for you, but I know that God has your back and He will help you find your place in this world.  

Much love to my blue eyed boy.