Today is 17

Today you turn 17 and the harsh reality sets in that soon you will be gone and on your own.  You wish you could be there now, I remember I wanted this too at your age. 

You are still largely into video games, cars, knowing how things work, and now into drawing anime on your new computer.  Like your dad, you get excited about things and you talk incessantly and obsessively about them.  Like me, you have a tendency toward the negative and are a sarcastic pain in the ass. You have learned to be more studious and have gathered a better routine and schedule for work that needs to be done, but you also get a little anxious when there is nothing to do.  That you also get from me.  

You are smart and you enjoy school because you find being home is boring.  You drive a little too fast like me and you like to play your rap music loud so that your speakers boom, like your dad used to.  You love food, but you enjoy giving me crap about nearly everything I cook for you, just like I used to do to my dad.

You can be fun and playful, moody and snarky, sweet and rude all in a matter of minutes. You are still not big into physical activity of any kind, unless it comes to horsing around with your friends. You procrastinate the things you have lost interest in like Boy Scouts, just as I am procrastinating the things I need to do, to write this instead. 

You want to major in aeronautical engineering and minor in mechanical at Auburn.  You don't want a girlfriend, at least during High School, because "I don't have time for that, and the girls in my school are lame."

You are 5 ft 9 in. tall and weigh 116 lbs. When you hug me or sit in my lap, everything feels backwards, because you are too big to be my kid and I am too small to be your mom.

I love your smile and your wit and I love the moments when we make each other laugh. I love watching you grow up and I love hearing you get excited about your future. I hope you achieve everything you every have wanted. Happy birthday sweet boy. Mama loves you.