Adulting is Excessive
Every generation we teach our kids to grow up and be a “responsible”
adult
To contribute to society
We teach them to work hard,
Make something of themselves
Be kind, be generous with time and money
Be all that they can be
And they can be or do anything they set their minds to.
And while all of that is well and good
I feel adulting is excessive
Every day,
Day in day out,
Striving, accomplishing, creating, keeping up.
Go to bed, get up, repeat.
But if what if,
just for today
I say no to this event, I don't want to attend, but feel obligated to and
instead
Head to the nearest park and
sit in a swing and pump my legs
until I feel like I'm
soaring through the clouds
with the wind whipping knots
into my hair.
What if
I postpone deciding what is for dinner,
making the healthy meal from scratch,
and cleaning it all up in order to
Be like a cat and lie on the
floor absorbing the sun’s rays through the window.
What if
just for today…
I turn off the notifications on my phone and shove it in a drawer somewhere
else
to be alone in the silence
of a hot bath with a good novel
lit by candles alone,
without worrying about damaging
my eyes.
What if
I schedule my first meeting for 9am instead of 8 and
stay snuggled under the cool
comfortable covers of winter and
take my time feeling my body
awaken?
What if
I stop worrying about my to do list, and everyone who needs to me today,
to watch the sunrise on a cool, dewy morning
and listen to God’s
creatures awaken to the beauty of this day?
What if
I don’t read the news, and stop worrying about which candidate I should vote
for
and not think about all the problems of this world I cannot solve
to laugh and giggle with
indescribable joy and not care who is watching.
What if
I chose not to get involved in the drama and the gossip of
wasted conversation
But instead, walk away like a
bored child would do and
not care what anyone thinks.
What if
I shut off my brain at night and stop worrying about how
many hours are ticking past, instead
Roll over with my flashlight
and tell ghost stories with my best friend
that shares my bed each
night.
What if
I cry when my feelings are hurt,
when I am embarrassed,
when I am sad,
when I am angry,
when I am frustrated
Without feeling like I need
to hold it in,
bury it down,
push it away
to let everyone else think I
have my shit together.
For today
I want to forget about “what I have to do” and instead
lie in the grass and find
animals in the shifting clouds above me.
I want to run with reckless abandon through a field of
goldenrod
without worrying about
allergies and Lyme disease.
When I descend a steep grassy hill, I don’t want to think
about my knees
Instead I want to lay down
and roll and holler with joy
until I come to rest at the
bottom winded and dizzy.
I want to have the mind of a child; curious and playful,
truthful and honest
Without having to replay the
conversation over and again in my head
wishing I could take it back
for fear of hurting someone’s feelings.
I want to strip down to run through the sprinkler with my
face toward the sun
without getting arrested for
indecent exposure
without feeling hate towards
this beautiful body that houses my soul.
I want my workout to be playing tag outside with a friend in the sunshine
not grinding it out at a
smelly gym while listening to a podcast on visceral fat.
I want to be alone with my own thoughts for five God blessed
minutes
without dings,
and beeps, and timers,
and deadlines,
distractions,
and noise.
I want to breathe.
And feel.
And listen.
And to
stop
adulting
excessively.
Just for today.
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